I think there is something that happens to children at that age. My experiences with bullying seemed to start then and get worse into middle school. At some point in their growth kids simultaneously find that they care what other people think of them, and they find that it feels good to think of yourself as better than someone else and to let them know that. When this started I expected adults to understand and to have a problem with it but thats not what happened. There were always adults in the background, sometimes teachers, who approved of the behavior. In some respects its not a characteristic that leaves people, it just becomes more mature and subtle.
There are a set of things that I observed growing up that built up over time into a basic distrust for adults and their institutions. The realization that adults approved of bullying was a significant one. There were many other layers that fell on top of that observation as I grew older.
I remember in the 5th(?) grade a police officer came to talk to us about drugs. Growing up in the 80's, almost every organized thing I was involved with - school, scouts, church, you name it - involved talks from authorities about drugs. This cop talked about a group of kids who were arrested together for some sort of crime - dealing I think - specifically talked about a kid who wasn't really involved in what was going on who still received a stiff sentence just because they were there when the arrests went down. I questioned the cop about it. I'm not sure exactly what I asked - I just remember her facial expression when she responded to me. Her story was meant to scare us but the conclusion that I drew is that this kid received an unfair sentence and that seemed wrong. I didn't understand that really, it just fed into a distrust I was developing.
Thank you so much for sharing this with us Tom! Yeah, I think my distrust for institutions started around this age as well and it was because of how adults handled most situations. Unfortunately bullying didn't end for me until I left school entirely and ejected. I wonder what the world would be like if we were able to teach kids at this pivotal point about the impact this sort of stuff has on others and themselves?
That made me smile and laugh a little, I had to read it to Joseph. It's true though. Mom yelled at me once after she found out I had punched one of those kids down, she asked me if that made me feel like I was "a bigger person" or some rot. I simply told her that no one gets to hurt my little sister. Didn't matter to me who they were. Still feel that way. No one hurts my little sister.
I think there is something that happens to children at that age. My experiences with bullying seemed to start then and get worse into middle school. At some point in their growth kids simultaneously find that they care what other people think of them, and they find that it feels good to think of yourself as better than someone else and to let them know that. When this started I expected adults to understand and to have a problem with it but thats not what happened. There were always adults in the background, sometimes teachers, who approved of the behavior. In some respects its not a characteristic that leaves people, it just becomes more mature and subtle.
There are a set of things that I observed growing up that built up over time into a basic distrust for adults and their institutions. The realization that adults approved of bullying was a significant one. There were many other layers that fell on top of that observation as I grew older.
I remember in the 5th(?) grade a police officer came to talk to us about drugs. Growing up in the 80's, almost every organized thing I was involved with - school, scouts, church, you name it - involved talks from authorities about drugs. This cop talked about a group of kids who were arrested together for some sort of crime - dealing I think - specifically talked about a kid who wasn't really involved in what was going on who still received a stiff sentence just because they were there when the arrests went down. I questioned the cop about it. I'm not sure exactly what I asked - I just remember her facial expression when she responded to me. Her story was meant to scare us but the conclusion that I drew is that this kid received an unfair sentence and that seemed wrong. I didn't understand that really, it just fed into a distrust I was developing.
Thank you so much for sharing this with us Tom! Yeah, I think my distrust for institutions started around this age as well and it was because of how adults handled most situations. Unfortunately bullying didn't end for me until I left school entirely and ejected. I wonder what the world would be like if we were able to teach kids at this pivotal point about the impact this sort of stuff has on others and themselves?
That made me smile and laugh a little, I had to read it to Joseph. It's true though. Mom yelled at me once after she found out I had punched one of those kids down, she asked me if that made me feel like I was "a bigger person" or some rot. I simply told her that no one gets to hurt my little sister. Didn't matter to me who they were. Still feel that way. No one hurts my little sister.
I’m so sad over many things that happened to you growing up; but i have to say your a great speaker. Christian was a blessing for you